From a popular fly fishing website forum:

today at 10:30am I was informed that my friend, fellow Veteran, vet of the war in Iraq and coworker had overdosed on his meds and died. I am told that he knew what he was doing and refused medical treatment but details are sketchy right now. [name redacted] was a Soldier in the 82nd Airborne deployed to Iraq in as part of the spearhead of the initial thrust through the country.

X was badly wounded when the truck in front of him was struck by an RPG (rocket propelled grenade). He suffered multiple shrapnel wounds along with massive closed head trauma. X was slowly regaining the memories of what happened to him over there. He saw the men in that truck blown to bits just before he went unconscious. X recently finally been able to open up to myself and other vets who help one another.The VA answer was to give a desperately depressed man with document drug and alcohol problems more pills to take then send him home time after time.

Recently X suffered a set back due to some other influences like family matters and some jerks at work. I discovered this when I saw him chewing up his pills or grinding them into a powder before taking the drug. The added pressures had brought back the PTSD flashbacks and nightmares. He was 100% disabled but the VA refused further help. I thought he was improved a bit over the last few days. Now I realize that he had made a decision. He must have decided to end the horrors himself. He left behind a fiance, a daughter along with parents and such.

I am really so down tonight. I must go to work tomorrow because the mission goes on and military personnel continue the fight to victory without stopping after a comrade has fallen. United we stand, Divided we fall. X wouldn’t have it any other way either. We also fond out that the husband of our freight tech has just days at the most to live. they have kids too. I have to go now as my heart is shattered and I am fighting mighty hard to hold back the tears.

To anyone here that suffers from PTSD don’t hold it in. PM box is always open. You are not alone.

Lord give me strength as tomorrow will be rough.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’ve been living with PTSD for decades. The symptoms don’t get less severe or go away. My ability to manage the disorder has improved over time. There are good times and bad times, and the progress comes as the good continues to outpace the bad over time. You can have a happy, meaningful, and fruitful life with PTSD. The vast majority of Vietnam vets with PTSD are well-adjusted guys with successful careers and loving families, enjoying their retirement nowadays. It just takes time and persistence. Winning this battle is about endurance.

I’m sorry about your friend. Too many…way too many. But the ones we know personally are devastating. I know what you’re going through, brother. It happens to me with some regularity because my whole family and most friends are military and vets, and I’ve done so much volunteer work with wounded troops and disabled vets and developed relationships with many of those guys and gals. We even lost one of our AFFI certified instructors who was a disabled vet from OIF earlier this year. Sometimes it is due to inadequate treatment or poor access to care, and sometimes it seems nothing could stop the slide into the abyss. But I do know this: since 2007 when I began teaching wounded troops and disabled vets to fly fish and tie flies, I’ve met probably five hundred with PTSD and know of a couple thousand. Of them all, I have heard of only one who took his own life.

There is an old saying that days spent fishing are not subtracted from the days of one’s life span…or each day spent fishing God adds to one’s life. We don’t hear of too many fly anglers committing suicide…certainly nowhere near the national average for civilians, and definitely nothing like the horrific numbers we see for combat vets diagnosed with PTSD.